FAQ'S
Top 10 FAQs for High-Conflict Divorces.
Spot the early warning signs you’re divorcing a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath.
Learn the #1 mistake most people make—and how to avoid it.
Outsmart manipulative exes in court without playing their game.
Shut down gaslighting with calm, powerful responses.
Shift from emotional reactions to strategic moves that protect your future.
1. How do I know if I’m divorcing a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath?
If you're constantly second-guessing yourself, walking on eggshells, being gaslit, manipulated, blamed for everything, and made to feel like the “crazy one”—you might be.
Key Signs:
Pro Tip: Document patterns, not incidents. Judges need to see a consistent, calculated pattern, not just one “bad day.”
2. What’s the #1 mistake people make when divorcing a narcissist or psychopath?
Trying to be reasonable.
You can’t negotiate with someone who sees compromise as weakness and truth as optional. Stop expecting empathy or accountability. Start documenting everything.
Power Phrase:
"For the sake of clarity and future reference, I’d prefer to keep our communication in writing."
3. Can I outsmart a psychopath in court?
Yes—but not by playing their game.
Psychopaths thrive on chaos, lies, and perception management. Outsmarting them means exposing their patterns calmly, consistently, and with evidence.
Courtroom Strategy:
4. How do I deal with gaslighting and manipulation during the divorce?
Recognize it for what it is: a strategy to destabilize you. The more reactive you are, the more they win.
Anchor yourself with this mantra:
"Not everything deserves my energy. Let the facts speak."
Tools:
RICH (Respectful, Informed, Courteous and Helpful)
Keep a “Reality Journal” with timestamps of their contradictions and false claims
Don’t explain. Assert.
5. What evidence is most persuasive in court against a coercively controlling spouse?
Judges care about patterns and proof, not pathology.
Bring receipts. Literally.
Most Effective Evidence:
6. What are the most powerful phrases I can use to stand my ground without escalating?
Psychopaths and narcissists bait you to react. Use gray rock + power phrasing.
“I’m not available for chaos.”
“I decline to participate in this narrative.”
“I’m happy to respond to any concerns through counsel.”
“I’m sure the court will be interested in this conversation.”
Energy wins cases. Stay cool, not combative.
7. What’s the best way to co-parent with a narcissist or sociopath?
You don’t. You parallel parent.
That means minimal contact, firm boundaries, and no emotional engagement.
Rules to survive:
8. Will the court believe me, or will they be manipulated too?
It depends on how you present your case. Courts are fact-driven, not feelings-driven.
Psychopaths can be convincing, but their mask always slips—especially under scrutiny.
Tips to Build Credibility:
9. Should I involve a therapist or forensic expert?
Yes—if they’re trained in high-conflict dynamics or coercive control.
A neutral therapist can:
Warning: Not all therapists are qualified to identify psychopathy. Choose strategically.
10. What’s your #1 piece of advice for someone preparing for a high-conflict divorce?
Truth bomb:
They’ll try to break you before you break free. Let every response be a move on the chessboard—not a reaction on the battlefield.
If you're constantly second-guessing yourself, walking on eggshells, being gaslit, manipulated, blamed for everything, and made to feel like the “crazy one”—you might be.
Key Signs:
- Lack of empathy
- Chronic lying
- Charm weaponized as control
- Jekyll-and-Hyde behavior
- History of fractured relationships
Pro Tip: Document patterns, not incidents. Judges need to see a consistent, calculated pattern, not just one “bad day.”
2. What’s the #1 mistake people make when divorcing a narcissist or psychopath?
Trying to be reasonable.
You can’t negotiate with someone who sees compromise as weakness and truth as optional. Stop expecting empathy or accountability. Start documenting everything.
Power Phrase:
"For the sake of clarity and future reference, I’d prefer to keep our communication in writing."
3. Can I outsmart a psychopath in court?
Yes—but not by playing their game.
Psychopaths thrive on chaos, lies, and perception management. Outsmarting them means exposing their patterns calmly, consistently, and with evidence.
Courtroom Strategy:
- Keep emotions neutral
- Let them talk—overconfidence leads to contradiction
- Use timelines, receipts, and third-party validation (therapists, teachers, texts)
- Anticipate their smear campaign and preempt it with facts
- Reality Check: You’re not in a divorce. You’re in a psychological war masked as a legal proceeding.
4. How do I deal with gaslighting and manipulation during the divorce?
Recognize it for what it is: a strategy to destabilize you. The more reactive you are, the more they win.
Anchor yourself with this mantra:
"Not everything deserves my energy. Let the facts speak."
Tools:
RICH (Respectful, Informed, Courteous and Helpful)
Keep a “Reality Journal” with timestamps of their contradictions and false claims
Don’t explain. Assert.
5. What evidence is most persuasive in court against a coercively controlling spouse?
Judges care about patterns and proof, not pathology.
Bring receipts. Literally.
Most Effective Evidence:
- Financial records showing marital waste or secret accounts
- Co-parenting apps logging abusive messages
- Voicemails, screenshots, and dated photos
- Therapist or forensic expert reports (if admissible)
- Texts showing contradictions or baiting
- co-parenting (and parallel parenting) apps
6. What are the most powerful phrases I can use to stand my ground without escalating?
Psychopaths and narcissists bait you to react. Use gray rock + power phrasing.
“I’m not available for chaos.”
“I decline to participate in this narrative.”
“I’m happy to respond to any concerns through counsel.”
“I’m sure the court will be interested in this conversation.”
Energy wins cases. Stay cool, not combative.
7. What’s the best way to co-parent with a narcissist or sociopath?
You don’t. You parallel parent.
That means minimal contact, firm boundaries, and no emotional engagement.
Rules to survive:
- Communicate only through co-parenting apps (OurFamilyWizard, Talking Parents)
- Avoid scheduling or negotiating without legal backup
- Always assume your messages will be shown to a judge
- Golden Rule: If your message sounds calm, boring, and emotionally sterile—you’re winning.
8. Will the court believe me, or will they be manipulated too?
It depends on how you present your case. Courts are fact-driven, not feelings-driven.
Psychopaths can be convincing, but their mask always slips—especially under scrutiny.
Tips to Build Credibility:
- Be organized. Have a binder or digital file with labeled tabs (finance, parenting, texts, etc.)
- Avoid labels like “narcissist” "sociopath or "psychopath" unless backed by a professional
- Focus on the impact of their behavior, not their diagnosis
9. Should I involve a therapist or forensic expert?
Yes—if they’re trained in high-conflict dynamics or coercive control.
A neutral therapist can:
- Validate patterns of abuse
- Provide expert opinion on trauma, parental alienation, or child exposure
- Testify if necessary
Warning: Not all therapists are qualified to identify psychopathy. Choose strategically.
10. What’s your #1 piece of advice for someone preparing for a high-conflict divorce?
- Get strategic, not emotional.
- This isn’t about justice—it’s about survival and future safety.
- Before you file or respond:
- Secure financials
- Change passwords
- Consult with an attorney who understands coercive control
- Prepare for smear campaigns—emotionally, legally, and socially
Truth bomb:
They’ll try to break you before you break free. Let every response be a move on the chessboard—not a reaction on the battlefield.
WORK WITH KERRIE
Navigate high-conflict divorces with a trusted legal strategist by your side.
